The Research Data That Isn't Flawed For Once
by JKTIM
Summary: This was a rousing success by the way...


THESANEREVELATION ~ By Darknessthecurse & JKTIM

FADE IN:

INT. COMPUTER ROOM – EVENING

A computer screen reads: "This account is closed."

WELLS reads the screen in confusion and with a "blank" expression.

WELLS:

(Puzzled)

Huh... I guess the pressure and all the drama got to ol' Darky.

EXT. OUTSIDE OF HOUSE – NIGHT

JASON in a panic rushes out of his house.

JASON:

(Horrified)

Oh my God! Darkness is gone from YouTube! What has this dreaded world become!

INT. BASEMENT – MORNING

DAVID is on his computer with himself in a state of uncontrollable laughter.

DAVID:

(Snickering)

Hehehehehe! Man, they'll never expect this to happen.

INT. DINING ROOM WITH COMPUTER - DAY

A day later, EMER is on his computer, watching videos.

He then finds a video called "upsetting news..." with a video description that reads: "I'm at loss for words right now..."

As EMER watches the video, he laughs hysterically.

EMER:

(Chuckling)

Hahahahah! They're all sheep if they fell for this.

Once EMER finishes the video, he reads the comments saying:

"Holy cow... I hope his ponytail's alright."

"Hmmm, Wouldn't that take his head off and not his legs?"

"Does this have anything to do with that whole Kaiser incident? We all know how that turned out."

"I just got another call. Josh is under a lot of stress from getting his hair torn out and has been put on 24-hour suicide watch. I'll update you guys when I find out more."

"Oh no... it can't be...my life has been turned upside down, my life is sprialling in a dark endless abyss. He was my favoriet internet personallity, now that he's gone...what do I have now...my life is now over now that Darknessthecurse not only is gone...but dying...suicidal...its like...the holocaust, 9/11, and the great depression all rolled up into a clusterfuck of misery and pain...I think now that my life no longer has meaning...and with that I say goodbye to all of you...forever..."

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

6 hours later, a video pops up called "The Research Data That Isn't Flawed For Once".

JOSHUA is looking at his laptop as he is writing on his notepad.

A camera is focused at JOSHUA in his room.

JOSHUA:

Well done gentleman... and ladies I'm sure for figuring out that this was me.

Not that I made it completely obvious, but I felt the need to congratulate those who did figure it out.

The camera pans down towards the floor.

JOSHUA:

First and foremost.

In case you haven't already figured it out by now, I'm not in any sort of wheelchair.

These are legs right here. And no I did not tell David to do that.

That had nothing to do with me.

Camera then pans upward to face JOSHUA.

JOSHUA:

But... I suppose I need to own up for what has happened so far. Some of you figured out that this was pretty much all a big prank. . . sort of. And yes I have been laughing my ass off ever since I close my account. I've been laughing my ass off pretty much this entire time. Mainly because everything happened just as I have planned, with the exception of two things, but I'll get to those in a second. Everything that has happened so far has been one big prank slash social experiment and I wanted to see what would happen if I vanished. . . for a while.

Camera is focused on a laptop screen.

JOSHUA:

To be fair I've seen similar things happen before on YouTube, but most of the time people got suspended, but those people immediately responded back on what had happened to their account. But, here I didn't what to give any indication of what had occurred, I wanted to leave abruptly. In addition, being suspended means YouTube booed you off, but being closed means I closed it willingly. So everyone was like why did he do it? I basically did it because I can, really. I did it because I wanted to see what would happened, I wanted to prove that I was correct in my analysis of the YouTube community really, as far as intellect and reactions goes.

Camera turns off as the video transitions into a black screen.

JOSHUA (V.O.):

What I figured out so far is that through my examining of people and laughing at people, about 4% of you were generally worried about what had occurred. Most of this people were people I knew well on a more personal level and were basically my close friends, so that was that group. Then we have 90% of you, did exactly what I knew you were going to do. Or what my hypothesis was. My hypothesis was that everybody would lose their ever bloody minds. You started asking questions, you started going around panicking and saying "Oh my god?! Where is he?! Oh my god, what's wrong?! Oh my god, Oh my god, oh my god". Why people?

Camera slightly blinks as JOSHUA continues on with his explanation.

JOSHUA:

This was all to prove more of a point to the 90% of people that just did that. I am a guy... on the computer. That account was nothing more than a gateway to YouTube's server, where I can upload my videos. That account was nothing more than data, bits, or pixels on a screen and nothing else. That subscriber count was nothing, but numbers placed there by coding. There was no meaning behind that kind of data. I mean, maybe some of you were a bit more inspired by what I was saying and maybe some of you were really entertained by my work. But there was no reason, I mean absolutely no reason you should ever freak out over someone's disappearance on the internet. That happens all the time for a multitude of reasons. So there is no reason to panic over that, ever. Unless, of course the person's life might be in danger or any sort indication of that happening. But, all that had happened was my YouTube account was suddenly closed. It's okay to ask questions and it's okay to wonder why, but you guys freaked out and that's a serious problem.

Camera then "translations" to the next recorded shot, as JOSHUA then adds to his explanation.

JOSHUA:

By the way, the other 6% were the people who really didn't give a shit. The 6% of you saw what happened and was like you just didn't even care. Which is good because that's a reaction I would hope for. But, freaking out about something like this is a beyond unnecessary. So, my hypothesis was correct, most of you all freaked out. Why, why did you do it, you might ask? Because... well let's get to the anomalies. The first anomaly was David. What David did was unexpected. I did not think that would happen nor I did I want that to happen. However, it did help me in some regard. It showed me truly, wholeheartedly that a lot of you are incredibly stupid.

Camera is now focused on JOSHUA's laptop screen.

JOSHUA goes over to DAVID's account and found his "infamous" video.

The video plays with text describing what "happened" to JOSHUA stating:

"I just got a call from Darkness' girlfriend. Josh was involved in a serious car accident. He accidentally shut his ponytail in his dad's car door... and his dad drove off. He is in the hospital right now. His life is not in danger, but... he lost both of his legs. Please keep Darkness in your thoughts and prayers."

The video also has the song "Can't you See" by the Marshall Tucker Band playing as well.

Camera is directed back to JOSHUA, who is now in his basement.

JOSHUA:

(facepalm)

I really hate to say it, but his... how?! I understand you might be concerned, but... but his explanation for me losing my legs in a car accident was that my ponytail got stuck in the door and my dad drove off. First of all, if my ponytail gets stuck anywhere, I'm probably going to yell and tell someone to let me go or open the door myself for that regard and I'm pretty my dad would notice that. Or if he started moving, I would scream. Second of all, my hair is going to be pulled out, well before my legs would be ripped off.

(shaking hands)

Do you guys even think?! Really?! I don't really want to call you guys idiots because I don't think most of you are, but you sure as hell act like you do sometimes. And I really wish you guys would just... think about things before you assume someone is telling the truth. Especially when it's fuckin' JustKeepThatInMind! The dude does rants on bird shit and trees! How the fuck can you take the man's words seriously, ever?! Maybe, he could have been serious, but his explanation and the fact that he was playing the Marshall Tucker Band over the message tells otherwise. A lot of you actually were very skeptical of his story. Which is good because I like skepticism and I like the fact that you don't take everything said seriously, but most of you thought he was telling the truth. Why?!

Camera turns off leaving a black screen while JOSHUA is talking over it.

JOSHUA (V.O.):

So, what I can gather from this is that most of you really need to start thinking. I do feel I owe you an apology for worrying a lot of you as to what had happened and I really did this more as trolling exercise and as prank, as well as the experiment part of it. But, most of this was me being incredibly bored at college one morning. Like I wonder what would happen if I closed my account and so I did. But there's one more thing I want to clarify, 90% of you have been flipping out. I've thrown a huge chunk of the reviewing/ranting fanbase on YouTube into a frenzy of panic and confusion. All because I click my mouse button twice. I clicked it once to hit the delete account button and click it again to confirm it. With that act, I threw you all into an insane tangent. That's a problem, I shouldn't be able to do that and I shouldn't have that kind of power over you all, I really shouldn't. Again I understand the concern, but the panic is something I really wish that it could be fixed. And I might do this again sometime, just to see if anything has changed in the future.

One day later, JOSHUA finds a comment on the video he just made.

"If you leave again I will kill myself."

JOSHUA:

(facepalm uncontrolably)

Just... why people?!


End file.
